The Awkwardness of Love
by Pampermousse
Summary: Lex and Chloe try and have a relationship. This is a sequel of sorts to my story Mimosa which can also be found here. It is helpful to read that first. This is a futurefic.


_**The awkwardness of love**_

_Will you accept a heart that loves_

_But never yields, And burns , but_

_Never melts?_

KAHLIL GIBRAN – The Enchanting Houri

***

Chloe walked into her apartment to find a six foot bat standing in the corner of her lounge, hands clasped together as if in prayer, head bowed and projecting a stillness that her apartment did not possess.

She stood in the doorway, arm outstretched with her keys hanging over the ledge by the door, mouth slightly open in wonder when the bat looked up, and with the same stillness, watched her. She dropped the keys on the ledge, distractedly closed the door behind her and walked into the room.

Their gazes held. She dropped her bag and sat down in one of her fake French armchairs, still maintaining eye contact. The rapidly setting sun was diminishing what little natural light there was and she wasn't inclined to turn on the lamp beside her. She continued to sit, waiting for the bat to make his move. He slowly walked toward the other armchair, gathered up his considerable cape and managed to squeeze in with some amount of grace. She couldn't make out much of him, she could see a vague square jaw and moderately sized eyes. The body armour hid everything else. This was the first time she had come face to face with the bat and the ridiculousness of a man in a bat costume was not as acute as she had imagined. There was a certain style and grace about him. She felt herself relax in his presence. She leaned her head back and waited for him to begin.

"I have a story for you" Batman said, in his mechanically modified voice.

"I'm retired" Chloe said, squinting, trying to get a better look at him.

"I know you. I'll be in touch" Batman said before getting up and leaving through the open window which Chloe only just noticed. Her white linen curtains billowing theatrically behind him, letting in the cool dark Gotham air, swallowing her back in again, to places she didn't want to be.

She sat like that for a while, eyes closed, head back and thoughts racing. She was shaken out of her contemplation by her cellphone buzzing in her pocket. She pulled it out and saw the caller ID – Lex. She would call him back. She pressed the cancel button, turned on the lamp and got to work.

Two hours and one missed call from Lex later, she closed her computer and walked into her kitchen, opening the fridge to see what morsels of food were left over from the weekend. She spotted some of the expensive pâté Lex had left behind for her. She took it out and opened some biscuits to lather it on. She smirked to herself, thinking of what Lex would say if he could see her insulting his pate by putting it on supermarket bought cream crackers. She looked at the time – midnight. It was not Lex's style to fill her phone with missed calls. She knew she should call him back but wanted to think about the evening and didn't feel like sharing just yet. And she didn't feel like deception by omission either so she settled on waiting until tomorrow until she knew more. Her phone rang again. Lex. Three rings in one night, unusual. She felt bad and picked up.

"Did I wake you?" she heard his irritation but felt her stomach flip at the sound of his voice.

"No, I was just bringing some of your pâté down to earth by letting it mix with some biscuits from the poor side of town" She said, sitting down on a barstool.

"Working late?" he asked, refusing to indulge her attempt at humour. She mentally sighed.

"I had a review to finish before tomorrow, I wouldn't accomplish anything if I didn't have deadlines which I could nearly miss" She said, trying again, at humour

"What was the book?" he asked, relenting

"A new biography on Kennedy. It was ok, but nothing I haven't seen before on TV" she said, popping a cracker into her mouth. This earned her a laugh from Lex and she relaxed. Minor drama averted.

"I had a nice weekend" Lex said, slowly, as if speaking a language he was not yet familiar with. "It was fun just to hang out at your apartment, eat, watch the news, sleep…not sleep."

Chloe thought that it must have seemed like an exotic holiday for Lex, who felt intensely tense when relaxing. "Me too" she said smiling into the phone. They were quiet. Their telephone conversations seemed to often move this way, opening well only to stutter and fade and finally end unsatisfactorily for both sides. They were much better when they met, all the awkwardness and misunderstandings on the phone disappeared when they could see each other's expressions. However, since their relationship was mostly conducted on the phone, this was a problem.

"Why don't you come to Metropolis this weekend?" Lex said, surprising her by his boldness. They weren't at the stage where they actually expressed an open desire to see the other person. She knew how much it would have cost him to ask that, and yet she had to disappoint. She told him that she thought she might be a bit busy this weekend in Gotham on a new story, in that moment making up her mind to listen to whatever Batman had to say. Maybe the weekend after. But Lex had already retreated and the awkwardness returned to the conversation. In the end he rang off, pleading an early meeting and she was left regretful but also strangely relieved.

After they had decided to see each other on a semi often, semi organised basis a few months ago, Chloe was still getting used to the fact that her significant other was Lex Luthor. They lived in different cities, and in a good month saw each other for a couple of weekends, had terrible phone etiquette but were somehow surviving. Everything became clearer when they met. Chloe couldn't deny the fission of excitement she got when she saw Lex, the way she seemed to be starting to know him yet him still remaining a mystery. In truth, she liked the distance they kept with one another sometimes, both geographical and emotional. She wasn't ready just yet to open herself totally.

The next day when Chloe returned back from work at The Gotham Literary Review, she found a manila envelope placed neatly on her coffee table. She opened it and read,

Miss Sullivan,

Please meet me at the Wayne charity benefit for the Gotham Home for Orphans. We can discuss the story I would like your help on. As background research you can look at some recent acquisitions by LexCorp under the name of Endan Corp.

It was signed with the print of the bat signal. Chloe breathed out one word, "No."

************************************************************************

Chloe had gone about her business for the week, studiously ignoring the manila envelope which she had shoved behind her microwave. She was now waiting in her favourite bar in Gotham for Lex to arrive. He had called the previous day saying he would be in town for the Wayne charity benefit and would she like to attend as his date. Her stomach had turned but she found herself agreeing. It was tomorrow so she had a day to prepare herself.

The bar was dark with candle lit cubicles dotted around the place. There was a small perfectly formed dance floor in the corner and a circular bar in the middle. She was sitting in a cubicle nursing a whiskey sour, a drink Lex had introduced her to. She looked up and suddenly saw Lex, walking slowly round the bar. He hadn't seen her yet so she could observe him. He looked handsome in his grey suit, with white shirt open at the neck. He moved with confidence and she knew that if she had never seen him before and knew nothing of him she would still be very attracted to him. He finally saw her and raised his hand a little as if to wave, but caught himself and instead raised and lowered his eyebrows. He came and sat opposite her, taking her hand and giving it a chaste kiss.

"Miss Sullivan, you look lovely tonight" he said in all politeness

"Why thank you Mr Luthor, I wouldn't kick you out of bed either" she replied and earned a laugh.

"Have you been here long?" he asked, whilst at the same time motioning to a waiter.

"Just enough to get a nice happy buzz" she said and leaned back into her side of the cubicle. "How was your week? She asked.

"Mergers, acquisitions, the usual." He said and she rolled her eyes. "Its boring, I don't want to talk about it with you." He explained.

"O…kay, what do you want to talk about then?" she asked

"How about your week? Anything interesting come up?" Lex asked, oblivious to Chloe tightening her grip on her glass.

"I have a better idea" she said, leaning in deep and close. "How about we skip the talking and go back to my place" She felt a stab of guilt in her belly. It wasn't pure unadulterated lust that had prompted the question but she didn't want to lie so avoidance was the next best thing. Lex looked at her hard and Chloe felt transparent in her change of subject.

"I'll get the bill" was all he said and the guilt in her belly turned to relief.

****************************************************************

Later, Chloe slipped out of bed and made her way to the kitchen. She slid the manila envelope out of its place by the microwave, opened it and read it again. _EndanCorp_. She was drawn in. She couldn't. It was Lex. Her significant other. Lex. She wouldn't. She mouthed the word silently to herself again. She clenched her jaw in frustration at her unspoken decision, a life left behind refusing to stay behind.

Apparently she wasn't retired just yet.

When she returned to bed Lex rolled over, pulled her into his arms and mumbled into her hair. "I can be myself with you"

"Me too" Chloe said. Hoping they were both lying just a little bit because if these half conversations and hidden truths were themselves, she wanted to be someone else.

***************************************************************************

They arrived late to the benefit, the result of smoky congestion in Gotham. This was their first formal appearance in public together. As they walked in they were greeted by Bruce Wayne, who was dressed to within an inch of his life in a perfectly fitted dinner suit. And she thought Lex was bad when it came to tailoring. Bruce tried admirably to cover up his astonishment at the couple they formed but Chloe could tell he was startled. Maybe he was surprised she wasn't a brunette.

He greeted Lex with a distant ease, as two people with a long history but mutual dislike of each other do, and complimented her on "looking lovely". Which she guessed she did. She had chosen a simple emerald strapless gown and had her hair loose around her shoulders with a black cloth flower tucked behind one ear. She had met Bruce Wayne once or twice at a few functions around town but had never exchanged any meaningful conversation so she was surprised to see that he remembered her.

Lex led her to a badly lit corner of the room and proceeded to entertain her with gossip about the rest of the party. She knew most of it but it was amusing to hear Lex's take on everyone. She asked him what he really thought about Bruce Wayne but all he would say is, "if you think I have issues…"

Halfway through the evening and three glasses of champagne later she found herself on the wide moonlit balcony leading out of the function room, squeezed up against a wall and kissing Lex as if they were fifteen and it was against the rules. She reached her hands around his neck and pulled him closer and he tightened his grip around her waist, taking a handful of her dress so that she felt his blunt nails dig into her back. She bit down on his lip, the moment controlling her and she felt a vibration by her thigh.

"Either that's your phone or you really do do things the other boys don't" she whispered, breaking off the kiss and smiling into his ear.

"Fuck" Lex said and looked at her mournfully. "I have to get this. Don't move." He walked back into the room and Chloe felt sorry for the poor soul at the end of the line.

She caught her breath and smoothed down her dress and ran her fingers through her hair. She rubbed her bare arms and trembled, from the cool air, from the effect of Lex. It was times like these that she understood what they were doing together. It wasn't just physical, it was as though their bodies could communicate with each other in ways their words could not. It was Chloe giving herself physically to Lex everything that she held back mentally.

She was suddenly aware that she was no longer alone. She looked to her left and saw a dark form, taking refuge in the shadows where the moonlight had not reached. Batman stepped out of the dark and looked at her. She met his gaze.

"I must say Ms Sullivan, I'm disappointed with the company you keep." He said

"I don't like to be predictable. If I knew we had an audience I would have put a bit more theatre into it" she said, annoyed.

"I didn't see much. However, this could be advantageous for your story" Batman said, circling her.

"No" Chloe said. "No story. Find someone else"

"Actually, I think you're perfect" Batman said, stopping close to her and looking into her eyes.

"Not all of us go through our lives wearing masks and deceiving people" she said, looking back at him, refusing to be intimidated.

"All of us do Ms Sullivan, it's just that my mask is more obvious than yours. Here you are in Gotham, pretending to be a reviewer of third rate books instead of being what you really are which is a first rate reporter. And here you are canoodling with Lex Luthor when you should be investigating him." Batman said, with as much feeling as a mechanical voice would allow.

"Like I said Ms Sullivan. I know you. Your boyfriend hasn't stopped his adolescent habit of experimenting on those amongst us that are 'special'. You can find out the rest." He finished before disappearing upwards.

Chloe bit her lip in frustration and felt tears collecting in her eyes. "Bastard" she said softly, not sure whom it was aimed at.

****

The next morning Chloe woke early and went for a run. She needed to clear her head. By the time she got back to her apartment, Lex was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper. She stopped by him and impulsively kissed him long and deep. As if she could rid her doubts of him that way.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Endorphin madness. Don't get used to it" she said lightly.

She went around the kitchen counter and leaned on the table studying him. He looked back at her warily. She knew she should ask him but she didn't want to know the answer. She tried to read the truth in his face instead but just saw the same inscrutable Lex that she had known her whole life. She knew he operated in shades of grey and was comfortable with that, however, when faced with the actual concrete knowledge of what the shades of grey consisted of she could not reconcile it so easily. And the fact that it had not crossed her mind that he could be innocent of everything Batman had suggested spoke volumes.

"Do you have your answers?" Lex asked, looking at her intently

"I don't think I'm asking the right questions." She answered but before he could respond his phone rang. He answered it still looking at her. He finally broke eye contact after listening for a few minutes and retreated to her bedroom to continue the conversation. She realised that she never asked him about all the phone conversations that had to take place in private. She had never been interested before now. She had assumed it was business and wanted to give him the same professional distance she wished for herself.

Lex came out from the bedroom looking irritated and said he needed to get back to Metropolis early. "I'm surrounded by idiots" he offered by way of explanation. Chloe left him to it as he packed up and checked her email. He appeared about half an hour later, suited up and standing in her hallway. Chloe found herself tongue tied and Lex stood as awkwardly as a supremely confident man could.

Chloe broke the silence, "So I'll call you tonight"

Lex nodded and bent down and kissed her forehead, in a gesture which was far more intimate than any other they had exchanged this weekend. He rested his nose against her forehead and inhaled and they were quiet for a moment. "As much as I am beginning to appreciate the many delights of Gotham, it would be nice to see you in Metropolis soon." He said leaning back to face her.

Chloe knew she couldn't this weekend and couldn't any weekend until she discovered the truth. "I'll try" she said and a flicker of something crossed Lex's eyes but he quickly regained his composure and left.

Chloe went back to her living room, sat down at her computer and typed EndanCorp into the search engine.

For something that she was expecting to be a well hidden operation, EndanCorp seemed to be a very open business. It was listed as a medical research company, specialising in genetics. There was not much more information but everything she found was legitimate. She gave up for the night and got ready for bed. When she was in bed she remembered that she had promised to call Lex. She dialled his number and was about to hang up on the eighth ring when she heard his voice, sleepy and very un Lex like.

"Sorry" she whispered "Go back to sleep"

"No, its ok, I'm awake now"

She allowed herself to feel vulnerable. It was the late hour, the cosiness of her bed, the whispered tones. She felt brave and she asked him "Are you honest with me?"

There was a long pause at the other end of the line and Lex said at last, "I have never lied to you" an answer which meant everything and nothing at the same time, for things he had never told her could not be a lie.

"What's going on Chloe?" Lex asked, alert now.

"I'm sorry, I'm just tired. I'll speak to you soon" and she hung up before he could respond.

Vulnerability was overrated.

************************************'

Chloe was drunk. She was with her friend Maya who she hadn't seen in a while. They had lost contact after college but regained it unexpectedly a few months ago when she happened to spot Maya at Gotham's leading hotel, in town for a real estate conference. After a few drinks they had relaxed in each other's company and after a couple more were exchanging deep dark secrets of the intervening years.

Now they were sitting in a loud noisy bar on the outskirts of the city, in what passed for Gotham's fashionable district. Maya had been telling her about her latest conquest, a man who worked in the circus as a contortionist. "Just think about the positions Chloe, he's incredible" Maya was saying whilst Chloe snorted a bit of her margarita out of her nose laughing.

"So you can actually tell people you're dating a circus freak. I'm jealous." Chloe deadpanned.

"Who do you tell people you're dating?" Maya asked wiggling her eyebrows

"A shady billionaire with a bad hairdo" Chloe replied.

"So still going strong?" Maya asked curiously.

"Still going something" Chloe answered. She took a gulp of her margarita. She felt fluid, loose and with an overwhelming desire to share.

"I saw him this weekend. It was great, almost perfect. I think we suit each other and get each other on some level. He knows things about me. I know things about him… It's just that I can't trust him." Chloe said

"Well, trust is overrated in relationships" Maya said trying, but Chloe just leaned back in defeat.

"The only part that makes sense is the sex and the pillow talk. We can connect more in 10 minutes of pillow talk than in half a day of normal conversation."

"At least you talk, my circus freak only speaks in grunts. I think he should get it checked out" Maya said.

"So how do you get to be a contortionist?" Chloe said changing the subject. "I mean, is there a school?"

"Ha ha. Actually, you'll appreciate this. He reckons it didn't develop until he was 18 and visited that weird place you're from. He even went for some tests down there a few weeks ago. It's all hush hush though. Personally I don't believe half of what he says. I think he's a nutjob. But the positions Chloe, _the positions_!" Maya finished, stressing the word positions in a way which left little to the imagination. But Chloe had stopped listening half way through.

"Do you remember the name of the place where he had tests?" Chloe asked urgently

"What? I don't know… I think Circular Ltd or circle something, why?" she asked

"No reason" Chloe said and pleading the onset of nausea by margarita, Chloe kissed Maya goodbye, promised to call and hailed a cab home. Her mind still hazy from the alcohol, she logged into her computer. Within an hour she had found the information she needed. EndanCorp had a small research facility called Spherical Ltd in an anonymous town in the MidWest. She shut her computer in anger and frustration, felt tears stinging her eyes. The one thing she wasn't was surprised.

She hadn't gone back to Smallville in 4 years, she guessed it was about time for a visit home.

*********

Chloe got out of her car, shaded her eyes against the setting sun and scanned the area. The building was non-descript and as far as she could see, unprotected. There were video cameras but no people. She tried to rationalise the growing fear within her. There could be a perfectly legitimate explanation which didn't involve experimentation on vulnerable people for nefarious goals. Right.

She walked up to the entrance and tried the door but it was locked. She then walked around the side of the building and spotted a door that was slightly ajar. Fate wished to make this easy for her it seemed. She walked in and entered a long dark corridor, she saw some steps on her left and took them. She came out into a brightly lit area with a door on the far side only accessible by code. She walked up to the door and tried the handle seeing how far her luck would take her. It immediately set off an alarm. The door she had just come through shut and realised she was trapped. She sat down on the floor and waited. Breaking and entering into Luthor offices, getting trapped and caught was like a familiar scent from her past. She felt like she was fifteen again, in a life she had tried to forget, yet here she was, ten years later, and not much had changed.

Two hours later when her alertness was fading she saw the handle of the door turn and she started to stand. She felt her stomach drop when she saw Lex enter. He looked angry, his mouth set in a hard line and his body tense.

"I'm getting a sense of déjà vu here Chloe" he said looking straight into her eyes, hard and unblinking. "Except I remember you being slightly better at trespassing, you wouldn't have got stuck in a holding room, you would be at the source of the supposed crime" he continued, still looking at her.

"I'm out of practice" she replied, feeling something like shame creep up on her.

"So, what do I stand accused of?" Lex asked. He leaned back against the wall.

"The usual. Like you said, I'm also getting a sense of déjà vu. Experimentation on freaks? I thought you would have branched out in your old age." Chloe said hiding her fragile heart behind barbed comments.

"Did the idea of asking me about whatever suspicions you have ever strike you?" Lex asked, some emotion sliding into his cold voice.

"Would you have told me the truth? Would it have made a difference? Would you be any less angry?" she asked

"Would it have made a difference? Jesus Christ Chloe, we're fucking!" Chloe flinched at the description of them and realised that Lex had shouted. She had never heard him shout before and it brought home to her with a hard jolt how she had potentially destroyed everything.

"You haven't denied anything Lex. What is going on in this building?" the apology that had been forming in her mind died on her lips and the accusation came out instead.

He put his hands on his hips, clenched his jaw and started speaking.

"It's a continuation of what I was doing in Smallville all those years ago, however this time it's more legal. People approach this research facility that want to find out more about their abilities. We give them the information and store it as well for our purposes. I am cataloguing them I guess. I am not planning on doing anything in particular with the results, but it's more of an obsession that I can't let go of. I realise that now in a way I didn't before. Which is why I am doing it in a way that does not harm people." He said each sentence staccato like, as if firing bullets at her.

His honesty took her breath away. Because at that moment she knew he was telling the truth. And although the truth wasn't as half bad as she had feared it still wasn't as morally righteous as Lex would have her believe.

"What you are doing is not right" Chloe started before Lex interrupted,

"That's your opinion."

"Yes, that's my opinion. And maybe that counts for nothing with you.."

"Don't make me to be the bad guy here Chloe." Lex interrupted again. "Someone came to you with something I'm guessing. Instead of asking me straight you chose to believe the worst, break into my property and then continue to accuse me when I have been totally honest with you. I'm confused, do you even think we are in a relationship?" he asked with some venom.

"Stop it Lex." She said, shouting back at him, angry and confused. "I think both of us know that considering your past it was a pretty fair assumption for me to jump to, and do I have to ask you questions to get information out of you? Since I spent the better part of my youth chasing this story it might have crossed your mind that I might be interested in it"

"You're interested in getting information out of me? Could have fooled me Chloe. We are barely connecting. I thought I was bad in relationships but at least I'm trying. You don't give an inch. You're so tightly closed I can barely reach you." At that Chloe turned her head away, eyes filling, not wanting to show him how hard he had hit a nerve.

They were still at opposite ends of the room. She could see Lex was waiting for her to respond but she couldn't get the words out.

"You can write what you want. I'll leave the door open so you can leave" Lex said and left her standing there.

The layers she had carefully built around her heart unravelled, and the masks she had worn pulled away by Lex, by his honesty where she had been deceitful, by his ability to totally understand her in ways that she herself chose not to, and by the brutal realisation that she had never trusted him, always expected him to disappoint her and prepared herself for what she saw as the inevitable ending of their relationship by sabotaging it herself.

******

It had been two weeks since she had been in Smallville. Two weeks since she had spoken to Lex. He hadn't tried to contact her and she wasn't surprised. The ball was in her court now. She never had been very good at racket sports.

After working late one evening she was walking home, dodging in and out of black trench coats which were like a uniform in Gotham. She turned left into an alley, a short cut she usually only used during daylight but she was feeling reckless. Half way down the small narrow street, which was slowly swallowing her into darkness she felt a hand around her waist and one at her mouth. Before she could react she was pushed up against a wall, her free hand was already making its way to her purse and her mace spray when she saw the identity of her assailant.

"Aren't you supposed to save people?" she asked Batman, who had finally released her.

"I want to know what you are planning to do about Luthor" he asked her, in that humming mechanical voice which she was starting to detest.

"Nothing." She spat out. "You seem to know everything there is to know, and I'm sure you're a literate bat, so write something yourself" she finished, looking up into his cut out eyes. He was tall, and she could feel the controlled power of the man, because a man he was. Bats didn't get personal and she was beginning to feel sure that whatever was going on between him and Lex was personal.

"He fooled you then" Batman said

"No. He told me that there are experiments taking place but it is with the subjects consent and at their initial request" she said, realising she sounded like Lex's PR woman.

"You're not stupid enough to believe him." Batman said as a statement and a question.

"Apparently I am" she replied.

"Men like Lex Luthor don't change Ms Sullivan, they just get worse." Batman told her, in a slow clear sentence

"That's what I believed as well, but I'm starting to think that even designated villains deserve the benefit of the doubt." She said speaking to herself as well as Batman.

"You'll regret not exposing Luthor when you had the chance, the more powerful he gets the more difficult it will be" Batman said, moving away.

Chloe had had enough of righteous heroes. "Maybe you're right, but I'll take my chances" she said but he had disappeared into the smoke and the grime of the city. She stood still, listening to the car horns, the sound of people rushing home, the slow beating of her heart. She walked back to the main street and hailed a taxi.

***

She waited in the lobby of the luxurious apartment complex. She was dressed in a three quarter length black polo neck sweater dress, with the polo neck part big enough to hide her lower face behind which is what she was doing. She could feel the beating of her heart ringing in her ears. She fiddled with her watch and tried to think of what to say. Maybe she would try the truth. She saw him striding in her direction but towards the lifts to the side of her. He hadn't seen her and was glancing down at a paper. She tried to get up but her legs didn't seem to be working properly and she ended up stumbling into his path.

"That was supposed to be a little more graceful" she said, flicking some hair away from her forehead, trying to look at him but failing.

"Chloe. This is a surprise." Lex said.

"Well, I was in the neighbourhood…" she said trailing off

"You want a cup of coffee?" he asked, saving her further embarrassment. She nodded silently and followed him to the elevator.

They stood side by side, Lex looking sideways at her and Chloe pretending not to notice and looking at the floor numbers light up, making their way to the penthouse. The soft discreet ping indicated they had reached their destination and Chloe walked out first. She had been here a couple of times, not as much as she should have, and her awkwardness was compounded. Dusk had arrived and Metropolis looked beautiful in the fading light. She walked to the window and looked out, relaxing and taking in the view. Lex was moving behind her in the kitchen, making the coffee.

"How long are you here for?" Lex asked, and if fake politeness could kill she would be a dead body in the middle of the room by now.

"I'm sorry" Chloe managed to stutter out.

Lex stopped his fiddling with the coffee machine and looked up. He had taken off his jacket and he was standing there in a white shirt with his tie loosely fastened around his neck. The light was framing him and Chloe thought he looked beautiful. She used to see menace in his beauty but now looking at him, she saw only confidence.

"You were right. Everything you said. I was not honest with you. I expected you to mess things up so I protected myself against that by not giving you myself." Chloe took a tentative few steps towards him. He hadn't moved from his position but she could see that his arm was not as tight and clenched as it had been a few minutes ago.

"I'm not good at relationships, I haven't had much practice." She stopped and looked at him before continuing, "I know you operate in shades of grey Lex. I knew that before we got involved. Honestly, it bothers me sometimes, but most of the time it's ok. You were right. Someone came to me with information on the testing. I guess they were guilty of the same thing I was, judging you on your past actions." She stopped. She wanted him to say something but he seemed content to listen for the moment.

"Anytime you want to put an end to this grovelling apology, feel free." She said.

Lex's mouth turned upwards in a slow smile. "People would pay good money for this, I'm not letting you off that easy"

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Why are you forgiving me so easily?" she asked

"Who said I was forgiving you?" he replied and turned around to get some mugs out of a cupboard. The voice he said that in was entirely devoid of emotion or charm and Chloe felt a tremor in her veins. This was the Lex she had feared and was worried would return with a vengeance one day. This was the Lex that had made her lie and deceive and keep herself to herself. And if she was truthful, this was the Lex that intrigued her, that attracted her despite herself and himself. And she thought he was fucked up.

"Good then," she said, "don't forgive me. Let's just start over. Take two."

"Why should I trust you?" Lex asked her, still with his back to her.

"Because you want to? As an act of faith? I can't promise I will never break your trust, I don't know where our lives will lead us. We're not like other people" Chloe said

Lex looked around finally, took her in, her nervousness, her boldness, her honesty and fear and said, "We can be more than other people"

Chloe looked back at him. This desire to be more than others made her uneasy and she knew that that, if anything, is what would eventually separate them. She also knew that right now, she wanted Lex. His ambiguity, his fearlessness, his charm, his ambition and his heart. Whatever else would happen would happen and she couldn't plan for it, second guess it or try and control it.

"I know this place, a club I went to many years ago. I met this guy there, who made me feel good." She said

Lex looked at her sceptically, "Really?"

"You're going an unbecoming shade of green Luthor" she teased. "I'm talking about you. You remember that night? The first night I visited this penthouse although as I recall I didn't get past the hallway"

Lex smirked at her, "How could I forget? I had body glitter on me for a week after that"

"I think that place is still open. You want to give it a try" she asked.

"We'd be the oldest people in there by about 10 years" Lex said

"Speak for yourself" Chloe said, and moved closer to him. He trailed a hand down her hair and neck, and pulled her towards him and kissed her hard.

"Let's go" he said

***

Lex was dancing which was news in itself. There was a hip hop song playing loud but she was not sure which song Lex was dancing to because it certainly wasn't the one everyone else was. She laughed and shook her head at him. They were both more than a little drunk. He grabbed her and pulled her into a loose embrace and started swaying with her slow, and in some sort of time to the slowest beat of the song. They stood like that, moving gently and firmly in a sea of people, to a rhythm all of their own.


End file.
